My brain says no but my pants say off.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
