I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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