her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
