I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
