i jhust puked up my retainher.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
