Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
