i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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