Where is the hickey?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
