everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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