Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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