the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
