Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
