There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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