I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
