I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
