ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
