So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just puked most of my soul out..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
