But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
