After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
