I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The best revenge is premature balding
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Terrible idea I love it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
