just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
