ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
