Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
