just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
