I want to have your abortion
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
