First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
where am i from again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
