I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
