You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
