lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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