I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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