he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
