I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
