So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
