We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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