theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
