that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
