Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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