So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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