WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
