Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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