Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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