I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
