someone get that fucking seahorse.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
