well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
