New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
