no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
