...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
