TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There r osticjed everywhere
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
