I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
