we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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