When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
